Friday, 16 July 2010

Catterick Garrison party band

Friday 9th July 2010 Wedding Penistone , near Barnsley.

Sat navs and guitar players
Our Sat Nav has got a very sexy voice and I love to listen to her telling me what to do .Turn left , turn right , its music to my ears . But, when your lead guitarist puts in the wrong postcode and you end up outside a garage in Barnsley in the middle of nowhere , things can become a little fraught. We all swore at her and cursed her little screen which was too small to accommodate Paul’s stubby fingers and it was definitely her fault he put in P instead of Q. We threatened to throw her out the window and bash her lights out .Then we remembered we were outside a garage in Barnsley with no idea where to go; so we have gave her one last chance. We all agreed anymore messing around and she is out the band !

Saturday 10th June Catterick Garrison , Catterick, North Yorkshire.
Roman Party night.
Off to Catterick for a roman orgy , sorry party . Everyone was very well turned out and made our £1.68 e bay Gladiator helmets look very poor. Metal body armour and swords, looked very scary on these human killing machines, and the  men looked good too!
Bob the DJ was very obliging and let use put our vocals through his speakers .However we forgot the old adage “ Never use anyone else’s equipment” and guess what happend? The vocals disappeared ½ way through our set and Bob the DJ was nowhere to be found. ! Very embarrassing to say the least.
Anyway I told a few jokes about Romans see below

• Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?
•Pupil: I expect it's around Hadrian's garden miss!

•Teacher: How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
•Pupil: With a pair of Caesars!

•1st Roman Soldier: What is the time?
•2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII!

Martin then did his snake body pop routine and we just about made it through until Bob entered stage left saying ,” it s never happened before “. Hmmmmmm? Bob was a very nice guy and we all loved his stories including the one about Dj ing for Princess Diana’s second cousin twice removed , very interesting!
Anyway , the party was running late and we only played 45 minutes. After packing our stuff away we were surprised to find a dying gladiator lying in front of the van. He was so drunk he didn’t even know he had cut his head open. Oh the joy of Mr Jack Daniels, but what a night!

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